Feeling Trapped

The person in the cage is me. At my core, I know I’m an artist, I know I was born to express and perform. But the anxiety and fear in my head often trap me, silencing my voice and stifling my creativity.

I didn’t grow up in a theater or art family, but all my life, I’ve been creating. From designing paper dresses for my My Little Ponys, crafting complex storylines for my Barbies, or turning my emotions into song lyrics, I was the quintessential tortured artist. My family appreciated my creativity but treated it as a hobby, not a way of life. I was told I was “too loud,” “too bossy,” and “not a genius at one thing,” leaving me with the feeling that I’d never truly amount to something.

Then, on a whim, I auditioned and got into a Performing Arts High School. Suddenly, I was in a world where being loud, taking up space, and showing off my skills was not just encouraged, but celebrated. I had spent so much time repressing myself to fit in, it felt like I had forgotten how to just be me. 

The judgment never disappeared—it just morphed, and I had to learn how to handle it all over again.

In front of my voice teacher, one of the few people who truly encouraged me, I felt unstoppable. I spent hours perfecting my audition pieces. But the moment I stepped into the audition room, surrounded by peers and directors who seemed to see only flaws, my confidence evaporated. My voice was swallowed by anxiety and self-doubt, and all that was left was the sound of someone trapped—someone terrified to be herself.

Eventually, I reached a breaking point. I didn’t want to be that scared, uncertain person anymore. 

My passion for success outweighed my fear. 

Still, there’s always a quiet voice of doubt I have to actively say no to every time I step on that stage. In my head, I repeat a mantra: “You deserve to try.” 

Growth isn’t linear, and escaping that cage isn’t easy, but I truly believe it’s possible. You deserve to be yourself at your fullest, brightest, and boldest, no holds barred.

Written by Natasha Teiman 

Photography by Mark Bluemle @barks.mindd

Directed by Sophia Querrazzi @sophiamq_14

Talent: Marc Semana @marcmiaou