BETWEEN TWO STAGES: A Conversation Between Singles

In a time of the word “situationship” and too many dating apps to count, being single and ready to mingle in 2025 is not a small feat. There’s an onslaught of constant evolution from the world of social media and forms of communication to the ways we date. 

Jade Shine, comedy writer and mother of three children, is dating for the first time since she was nineteen after going through a divorce. Ana, a current senior in her undergraduate degree with no real idea of where her life is going, is just trying to figure it all out. 

The two single writers came up with five questions for one another, all about love, life after and before relationships, and understanding the state of the online dating stratosphere. Here’s what they found: 

Ana Marks: What are your approaches to dating in 2025, and how drastically do they differ from when you started dating? 

Jade Shine: When I was last dating (at age 19!!!), I wanted to find some idealized Prince Charming to spend my life with. Vomit emoji. 

My current approach is to manifest exactly what I want, but at the end of that manifestation, I add… “or something ten times better.”  I’m leaving space for God (or the universe) to give me more than I could imagine for myself. I have the mindset that each and every relationship is here to teach me something important about myself, and I need to stay open. 

​​JS: What is the most important thing I need to know about modern dating? Differences from when I last dated?

AM: Screen culture has changed everything. Commitment and communication is entirely different. I think both social media and remote working, while very different things, have greatly impacted the way we socialize and live within the world. So much of how we keep contact with one another is via words on the screen, and people have become less social due to the convenience of technology. I also think social structures around the roles within heterosexual relationships have totally changed. There's more discourse over who pays on a first date, and I think women have more agency in a sense within the relationship. 

AM: In what ways do your standards for a partner change as your life evolves? Are you looking more for practicality (career similarities, financial stability) or for emotional connection? 

JS: I’m not looking for a dream guy. For me, what is most important is being with someone who supports me being the best version of myself. I want any partner to be emotionally healthy, confident in who they are (not what they’ve accomplished), and to have a big heart.

JS: Are you trying to find “the one”? Get married/ have kids? Or do you have different dating goals? 

AM: I think in today's climate, marriage isn’t totally something a lot of people in my generation are totally thinking about when it comes to dating. I personally can’t imagine myself with kids and a more settled down life, but I’m also only 21. I grew up in Texas, so I open Instagram pretty often to see some engagement or pregnancy announcements, and I'm always so shocked, but then I remember that’s kind of the beauty of where our culture is today. It’s acceptable to be my age and have those things happen for you and also it’s more acceptable to not know exactly what you want at this age. I would say I’m looking for someone I want to share life with. I like existing in my own spaces and having my own hobbies, and I would want someone that can exist in those spaces with me and also create something outside of what I’ve built in my own life. I’m of the belief that my partner should be my best friend, someone I want to be around constantly and someone I can confide in. 

AM: How would you say your perceptions of love have changed by being a mother? 

JS: Being a mother teaches you a whole new level of sacrificial love you never thought possible. You never realize how much your mom (or another loving adult) loves you until you love your own child. You would sacrifice your life (and so much sleep!) for this child. You will never have your heart broken as much as when something terrible happens to your child. In some ways, it can make romantic love challenging because maternal love is so powerful. 

JS: Let’s talk about apps. Which ones should I try and why? 

AM: Personally, I had Hinge for about 24 hours before I was annoyed by the interface and disappointed with my matches. This probably speaks more to my impatient nature, but they’re daunting. I’ve heard good things about Bumble, but I’ve also met couples who met on Tinder. I think it’s important to know exactly what you’re looking for when you start swiping and creating your profile. 

AM: Describe your ideal first date, how different is it from your ideal first date from when you first started dating?

JS: There is so much fake bullshit in the “getting to know you” date. Any first date where I can get beyond that and see a glimpse of who the person is, and let them see me, is ideal. Time is precious, and I don’t want to waste it showing each other our masks. 

When I was in college, my ideal first date was probably something romantic. Now I think that comes later. A personal gesture that is specific to one person is much more romantic than a date planned for a stranger. 

JS: What are the stages of dating? 

AM: The “talking stage” is a big one, which I would classify as a “getting to know stage.” A touch of flirting, but you’re still working on those early impressions. If talking is mostly dependent on screens (meeting over an app or social media, etc.) I would say the next stage is the “going on dates” stage. Seeing how the person is in different situations and in different atmospheres is important in finding a partner, if that’s what you’re looking for.  Depending on your own goals for the relationship, the following stages are entirely unique to the couple. If you’re looking for something more serious, I would think the next stage of dating is just that; defining the relationship for what it is and then acting on that. If the plan is to keep it casual, the stages are more of a go-with-the-flow vibe. 

JS: What is a situationship, and are they necessarily bad? 

AM: As I understand it, a situationship is something slightly more psychologically torturing than a friends with benefits situation. I think that if you’re looking for that kind of gratification and for something with absolutely no strings attached, a situationship doesn’t have to be the worst thing in the world. I do think, however, that it takes a mental toll. More often than not, it’s one party who wants more out of the situation, and the other party could not care less, hence how the situationship is born. Labels are big these days, and they have to be agreed upon by both parties. 

AM: What is one important piece of relationship advice that you wish you were told in your early 20’s? Is it something you learned recently?

JS: Fight for what is important. By nature, I don’t like conflict, but any relationship worth keeping is going to require you to set strong boundaries that will bring conflict. This doesn’t mean being rigid and having a “my way or the highway” attitude, but to engage in a safe and loving way with a partner to discover how you can both get your needs met. This requires a partner who is emotionally healthy enough to see this not as a criticism, but a beautiful negotiation. 

Jade Shine’s Writing Bio: 

Jade Shine writes MOM-COMS to voice the flaws, fears, and ferocious wants of moms. She seeks to demolish the established archetype of “mother” to allow women to be the fullest versions of themselves. Jade has optioned two comedy features and has placed in many contests, including PAGE, Austin, and Cinestory.  Born in San Francisco to hippie parents who joined a cult,  Jade was uprooted from that life to grow up on a farm in Iowa. After graduating from the University of Texas Medical Branch at Galveston, Jade is also an Occupational Therapist, where she assesses her patients’ strengths and weaknesses. She transforms her characters like they are her patients – with specific treatment plans designed to heal. Jade currently resides and writes in Houston, Texas, but plans to someday hit the road as a backup singer for P!nk.

Ana Marks’ Writing Bio: 

Ana Marks is a freelance music, film, and culture writer born in Houston, Texas and based in New York City. Writing for various publications such as 47Magazine, Off the Record Press, and the Washington Square News, she has covered new releases and done various pop culture retrospectives. She is currently in her last year of her undergraduate degree at New York University, with a major in Cinema Studies and a minor in Media, Culture, and Communications. She channels her passion for film through her editorial and archival research work. When she’s not writing or working at one of her three jobs, she’s probably at the movies or calling her mom and dad to complain.