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Movies I Watched While Blasted (And You Should Watch Too)

To smoke or not to smoke? That is the question resonating in the minds of burnt-out college students around the globe. As the decision is made and you either watch your friends roll up (trying to secretly learn from them in the process) or you make the walk of shame down to your plug (Mr. Exotic is a real one), there is another question that remains unanswered…what the hell is there to watch? Lucky for you, I dedicated a whole month of relaxing research as an answer. Here is a curated list of every movie or show I watched while high, hopefully you will too. 

How can a bunch of teenagers high out of their minds laze around without learning from the masters themselves? The quintessential stoner movie, Dazed and Confused is groundbreaking for the way it does…well, nothing. Richard Linklater fondly looks back at the lackadaisical nature of teenhood through the somewhat surreal lens of American suburbia. As tweens shiver in fear of the next chapter of their lives- pop quizzes, pre-calculus, growth spurts (or lack thereof), bulging pimples, the “talk”- they unexpectedly end up in the menacing jaws of older teens who have already been there, done that, and don’t need you getting in the way. Classic all-timer caricatures of pretty cheerleaders with rows of shark teeth, pretentious outcasts, lanky stoners with fast metabolism, dumb boys who probably mean well, and dumb boys who definitely don’t mean well exist as the main source of conflict. Despite their staggering circumstances on the public education food chain, what binds these stupid kids together is booze and boof. For those looking to turn their brain off and enjoy some good vibes, this movie is perfect to watch through the haze.

If you’re one of those sick freaks who always asks the rotation to watch a scary movie and always gets told no in response…me too. Let us forget everybody and hold hands, dance a pas de deux, and admit ourselves to the sinisterly prestigious Tanz Academy of Freiberg, Germany. I refer to Suspiria it as a poison dart frog of a movie; the fantastical, other-worldly presentation of fading vivid hues is enough to nab the attention of any unsuspecting cinemagoer from off the street and into the jaws of the murderous witches’ coven that the academy exists as a front for. Dario Argento sets the audience through the eyes of a young ballet student who experiences the worst first semester of her life. While her troubles of uncovering a murder mystery aren’t exactly relatable, the movie possesses you with a truly haunting score that punctures the feverishly dream cinematography. Unfathomably gory, unapologetically bloody, and un….settling, it is truly one of the best horror movies ever made. If you’re a part of the unlucky (but perhaps sensible and sane) population that hasn’t seen this movie, then text that dearly beloved plug of yours and spark up. You can sit back, but you won’t relax during this ride.

Why, oh, why did we lose the art of modernizing Shakespeare? Maybe then Gen-Z would finally have a teen flick that we can milk relentlessly the same way millennials milk Mean Girls. Sorry. Anyways, I truly think 10 Things I Hate About You is one of the most perfect teen movies of all time. Hailed for its star-stunning cast with star-stunning performances consisting of Heath Ledger as the town’s unusually Australian delinquent, Julia Stiles’s radical literary venom, and Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s breakthrough role as a bit of a cutie pie, the movie skillfully keeps the audience on its toes. Through its rotating cast of intensely peculiar character dynamics, the soul of the film’s originator, The Taming of The Shrew, is never lost on the audience. As you sit in bed either laughing at the nostalgia of needlessly complicated tween drama, or crying at the infamous poem/title-drop by a girl who hates what she loves and loves what she hates, shake your head at the absurdity of it all, and enjoy the ride.

Lynchian is a term that I find to be overused. It is rare to come across an instance of either reality or fiction where the useless, unmoving mundanity of the everyday collides perfectly with the ever-present lingering nature of the macabre, then fogged up by the hot breath of dream-like mystery. Wild At Heart is one of the more accessible movies by David Lynch due to its very simple concept; the world is hell, find love in it. A couple defined by their unruly antics of skin-tight leather pants, one-of-its-kind snakeskin leather jackets, Marlboros from the age of four, and the oozing sleaze of motel room lovemaking, Lulu (Laura Dern) and Sailor (Nicolas Cage) serve as the representative action figures of a facet of America unknown to itself. Newly exposed sin sticks out the flesh of Lynchian narratives where seemingly good people scuffle with the brutal nature of secret and what it means to exactly be evil in the first place. I will preface this with a warning that the movie portrays graphic themes of sexual violence against women, and Lynch should be generally avoided if things of that nature make you uncomfortable. Nevertheless, there can always be true romance found on the road to New Orleans.

Not everybody has the attention span long enough to sit down and focus for two hours…so sit down and zone out for eight hours straight instead. Nathan For You is a documentary-style reality series following the antics of Canada’s Nathan Fielder as he uses his business degree (that he earned by “getting really good grades”) to help improve struggling establishments. Majority of teens reading this article might recognize his voice from Tiktok; “I hope you’re hungry…for nothing!” The heart of the show’s comedy lies in Nathan’s incredibly awkward persona-but-not-really breaking social boundaries in even the most bizarre social conditions. Ranging from hiring blubbering actors looking to snub an Oscar at a funeral home to a brief cameo of Trisha Paytas in her barbie-bimbo prime, this show is bound to break your brain whether you’re high or completely sober. It is one of the funniest reality shows to grace television; Kris Jenner works hard, but Nathan Fielder works harder. 

Honorable mentions;

  • It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia

  • Superbad

  • The Truman Show

  • Ghost World

  • John Tucker Must Die

  • Bottoms

  • Bodies Bodies Bodies

Written by Nariyah Gonzalez

Photography by Rose Miller

Talent: Rachel Lucas, Ethan Aronson, Sarah Lake

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