How to have fun again

Call it what you want: analog, offline, indie summer. What we know is we're missing something.

These are tips on how you can start to regain your independence from the screens and get back into the real world. 

Use this as a starting base for a detox, intertwine it with a 75 soft (or hard) challenge, take some, leave some.

Just consider the ways you use the screen, and the way the screen uses you. 

Social media stays home (not on your mobile phone)

Connection has become too convenient; This doesn't include the fandom and worldwide connections made possible through social media; I mean the negative side of connection.

It's not supposed to be this easy to know everything about someone.

Sharing online used to feel more meaningful, but now it feels like a job, or sometimes it actually is one needed to survive. 

The social media market grows and changes exceedingly fast, and to keep up with it is running against a never-ending train; some make it on, others get crushed. At what point do we ask ourselves what we're really chasing?

Rethink how you go online.

Are you trying to "be an influencer," or does your authenticity and creativity help you build an online community, instead of just an audience?

Instagram, Twitter (X), TikTok, and all the other social media apps that keep changing in an attempt to keep us happy and entertained; miss the mark, and we can't help but stay. However, lately, being online has begun to lose meaning and value.

AI has made being on the apps annoying and weird. It's stolen pieces of the internet that made it entertaining. Bots have infiltrated so much that comments and posting risk reaching an audience that makes the trouble not worth it. 

When I think of how I want to spend my time online, I want to feel inspired and intrigued; I want to meet new people with the same interests and discover my own taste and preferences. Instead of spending hours on socials, get into new websites. rabbit hole on Wikipedia, discover new artists on NTS Radio, join scenes on Perfectly Imperfect. Discover new blog sites, independent magazines (wink wink), get back into gaming and forums, explore and have fun, and then log off.

Go outside. Reconnect, and decenter social media.

Replace getting social handles; instead, make a note page of tags/contacts/emails you meet out, connect with them online when you make it home, and eventually get used to asking "Can I have your number?" or " Can I have your email?"

Disconnect from the discourse and connect more purposefully by separating from socials.

Exist beyond the feed.

From "network" to community 

Connect and share with intention; it's more interesting, more meaningful, and takes away a lot of the stress of social media when you're not over-cultivating an aesthetic. Constantly having 24/7 access to each other, continuous updates, endless scrolling, and ads has tainted sharing online. It's competition, comparison, and evaluation. Add some separation. Go more analog 

No matter how high-tech things get, analog has a charm you can't replace. With the lack of new analog in exchange for new digital, the decline in useful, less expensive products in comparison to the mass production of digital makes this easier said than done.

There is a nice middle ground: phone as a tool, calculator, maps, etc, and separate it from the things that keep you overly attached to it. 

Look at your phone: what apps would you miss if it turned off? Get a music backup, thrift an old mp3 and fill it with the music you like, burn cd's/swap them with friends. Show off your playlist skills and make a mixtape.

Models: Sophia Deaver, Hillary Castillo Marte, Mickey Tegegne Photos By Toni Desiree

Get a puzzle book or a word search. Swap a notes app for an on-the-go journal; write your thoughts, your schedule, and contacts you meet. Ditch overpriced reading apps and get a library card, get a book for on the go, and a book for at home. Get magazines, read obnoxiously, get well-read and educated, and reject the rise of ignorance and inconsideration. 

I don't care if it looks performative. Before, people brought books with them on the go, packed notepads, and walked around with portable CD players all the time, before it was all optimized. 

I don't think you should be shamed for going back to wired headphones because people think it's a little corny. 

Go out of your way to experience a life detached from the feed. 

Boredom is just a sign. Follow the way and see where it leads. Talk to strangers, join community groups, go to places alone, and open your eyes to the world again.

5 Safe Sex Practices for a Sexy Summer

Whether you’re traveling for vacations or internships, partying til you drop, or experiencing your first single summer, one thing remains true for anyone planning to have sex this summer: safe sex practices are a must. 

Summer has a reputation for being spontaneous. Things you might have said ‘no’ to before suddenly turn into ‘for the plot?’ But while spontaneity can make for a great summer (and make great stories in the future), your sexual health shouldn’t be left to whatever happens.

A few simple safe sex practices can help you enjoy everything this summer has to offer without bringing home a sexually transmitted disease (STI) or stressing about an unintended pregnancy.

1. Buy your own condoms

This may seem like a given, but it's so important that it literally needs to be drilled into. your. brain.

Whether they're external condoms or internal condoms, never assume that whoever you’re having sex with will have them. It may even be a good idea to buy different sizes and different materials (latex and non-latex for any allergies) and keep a few handy in your bag, pocket, or room in case things go down there.

This also eliminates any excuses of “I don’t have any protection on me. Can we just not use it?” because you won’t have to rely on anyone else to bring it. You also never truly know if someone else’s condoms are safe, especially if this is a one-night stand situation.

They could be expired, damaged, or tampered with. You never know, and in this case, it's better to be extra cautious than sorry by bringing your own. 

Note: When pairing lubricant with condoms, make sure the lubricant is water-based to reduce the risk of condoms breaking down.

2. Get tested regularly for any sexually transmitted infections

If you are sexually active, especially with multiple or different partners, it would be wise to consider getting tested regularly. Getting tested allows you to stay informed about what’s going on in your body and also helps prevent the spread of STIs from partner to partner. It can also give you peace of mind if you’re able to show your sexual partners up-to-date test results while also asking if they have any recent results of their own.

Mount Sinai offers free, confidential services, and can answer any questions about how often you should get tested, other resources available to you, and information on medications.

Many colleges and universities also offer free testing, and Planned Parenthood provides free or low-cost testing as well. 

Tip: Follow organizations on Instagram to keep up with any free testing events or informational posts. 

3. Consider getting on PrEP

According to Mount Sinai, PrEP, or Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis, is a medication taken before exposure to HIV that can significantly reduce your chances of getting HIV.

Some potential options are a once-a-day pill, an on-demand pill taken when you know you’re going to have sex, or an injection taken every two to six months. You can make an appointment with Mount Sinai to find out if you’re a good fit for PrEP and learn which option would be the best fit for you.

If you have already been exposed to HIV or think you may have been, you should look into PEP, or Post-Exposure Prophylaxis, which should be started within 72 hours after exposure. New York City also has a PEP hotline that you can access online, or you can access your local emergency room.

4. Always keep people in the loop

Some of us love filling our friends in on our sexual adventures, while others prefer to keep things private.

Whichever one you resonate the most with, it’s important to let at least one or two trusted people know if you’re leaving a party with someone or meeting up with someone, either for sex (if you’re more open), or to just hang out (if you want to keep it on the down low).

This helps in case anything goes south, whether you were feeling this person at first and now the vibes are off, or the situation becomes unsafe, potentially resulting in sexual harassment, assault, or rape.

Sharing locations with someone you trust or letting them know where you’ll be gives someone the ability to check in on you if needed, and gives you some extra peace of mind that someone knows where you are.

5. Talk to your sexual partner(s) about sex, kinks, and consent

We get it, sometimes sex can be awkward to talk about, or you may worry that discussing what you are and aren’t comfortable with will ruin the mood. However, having these conversations beforehand or even in the moment can help you gauge whether someone may be a good fit for you as a sexual partner.

Not everyone likes being tossed around in the bedroom, praised, or even talked to at all during sex. Letting your partners know what you’re into and what you’re comfortable doing can save everyone from any uncomfortable or unpleasant situations. It is also important to talk about consent.

Hearing what your partners think about consent can tell you a lot about whether they take it as seriously as you do. You may also want to establish a safe word to use during your sexual interaction if you think it's necessary.

Also, remember that consent is an ongoing process that can be withdrawn at any time. Agreeing to something once does not mean you are obligated to continue if you change your mind!

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There are plenty of safe sex tips to keep in mind as you dive into your sexual endeavors this summer (and all of the time!).

The most important thing to remember is that safe sex is self-care. It’s better to be overly cautious than to end up in a situation that puts your body or anyone else's at risk or under unnecessary stress. 

Step out of your comfort zone. Try new things this summer. Be spontaneous. Have fun whenever, wherever, and with whoever.

Just don’t compromise your sexual health, because safe sex is sexy.

You need to be dancing.

Everything was on fire.

I knew it. The boy grabbing my hips on the dance floor knew it. And the way the DJ was playing, they knew it too.

I let the world slip away into the rhythm. And when I tuned back in, we were all outside.

My friend Andy was smoking and complaining about the cocktails; the lady we met at the bar chimed in, "They used to be $4." She's maybe thirty-two at most, and yet the sentiment is so foreign to me she might as well be talking about the days when burgers cost cents.

I pass Andy a shooter from my purse, and he puts it in his vodka soda. Cheap, effective, and enough to get us back out on the dance floor.

I'm not out of touch; I read the headlines this morning: war, tyranny, disease, and hunger across the world and in the States.

I balanced my checking and savings to make sure we could make groceries and gas for the rest of the month, and to my luck, I sneak away just enough for fun to not feel guilty. Still, I see the privilege in the act.

At the station, I give the clerk $7: 5 for gas, 2 for a 99-cent shooter. I pack it away with the other two that survived the summer. This, the gas and the shooter, will sustain the joy I need to reach tonight, to erase the feeling I have in my heart. If I dance long enough, something will replace it.

Did you know dancing is proven to help lower cortisol and stress levels? It reduces anxiety and depression symptoms, alters brain function, improves memory, and it's good cardio. A natural stress reliever passed down through tradition and history.

Tonight, it is alive and well in Houston's growing club scene.

My tips for a successful night out:

To have a good night, you have to chase the DJ.

When you hear a sound you like, let the thread guide you to the right places.

To have a good night, you have to get out of your head and put your phone down.

TO HAVE A GOOD NIGHT YOU HAVE TO BE DANCING.

While older generations groan on about how music is dying, the young people aren't dancing, and that clubbing is dead. Over the past couple of years, there has been a new sound rising from the south. Southern Club brings a new heartbeat to the dance floor, blending electronic with southern sound.

Artists Hyperfemme, Big Ace, and Amarji King established the subgenre back in 2023, and they are just a few of the many young artists bringing to life new sounds, new genres, and new spaces to the nightlife scene.

The pandemic, cellphones, and social media induced fear of embarrassment, hand in hand with section culture, make going out feel unbearable.

Today's DJs are changing the narrative, not only in sound, but in how they transform dance floor culture. HyperAce, Club Shugga, and other parties dedicated to music, movement, and community are giving clubs a comeback.

The same is happening all over the states; People want to get together, people want to dance, and if the traditional clubs aren't going to step up, the underground will have to.

Every week the list of where to go grows longer, whether you see it on your for you page or not. Tonight I'm one of the many that flooded in for Identity Trade's TrackID, a monthly dance party in Montrose; There's a certain something special in the air.

Sometimes I don't want to sit at the bar and look around for an hour. I don't want to spend $60 getting into some club with a line wrapped around the building where inside everyone just stares at each other. I think the tougher the world gets, the more I realize we need to be dancing.

Signs like "no requests, trust the DJ " and "The dance floor is for shaking ass, breakdancing, grinding, voguing, housing, connection. GET OFF YOUR PHONE AND DANCE" line the walls. MISSY, Identity Trade's resident DJ, spins tonight, and as we dance, everything falls into place. I'm nothing, I'm everything.

The bass encapsulates us, and when my feet finally grow tired, I head downstairs for a bathroom run.

The hefty weight of existing right now is no match for the resistance forming in the downstairs girls' bathroom.

"AND F- TRUMP" some girl says. The bathroom erupts in cheers.

I wait in line next to a tall girl with tequila on her breath. We talk about the video that has been trending all week of Trump talking about running for a third term; eerily, the internet couldn't decide if he was really joking or not.

She leans over and says, "He's going to try and stay." She says it like she's seen the future; I don't know what to say back.

I had seen the video just like everyone else. I had seen the website of him selling Trump 2028 merch. I wanted to wave it off, another attempt at capitalization from a con man who can sell a secret, but not of a serious man; still, that's what they said when he ran the first time.

"I hope not" was the most I could muster. "Me too," she continued. From the stall, my friend Teri yells, "He won't. We won't let him. We got rights for a reason." There was laughter in her voice, but the tone of the room grew gloomy anyway. What did that mean these days, rights? Then someone gasps and says, "I love this song."

We can hear the bass from upstairs, the party happening in a different room, and suddenly I long to spin under flashing fluorescents, replace one dizzy feeling with another.

We need to be dancing. Come close to me, stranger, let our hearts beat to the same vibration. We'll meet our troubles in the daylight.

As I return to the dance floor, I shuffle my way into the crowd, and everything is alive here.

Sometimes the weeks pass, the news gets darker and the days get harder, and I forget the world isn't just work, tragedy, and keeping your head above water. I let the monotony of doomscrolling distract me from the vibrancy of life.

Here, I forget myself, allow the waves of bodies to crash against my own; I'm alive again too.

It all still exists out there. Tomorrow I’ll have to research food banks, how to start a garden, and what to do once gas gets higher. I’ll text my mother and try not to worry beyond my control, a task I can never seem to accomplish.

Tomorrow is a new day, but tonight, in the hours where yesterday and tomorrow meet, I'm dancing. This will get me through, and as the cycle goes on, so do I.

I consider the Alice Walker quote: "Hard times require furious dancing. Each of us is the proof."

I let my body release the tension it had been holding all week, and badly twist and twirl without the fear that there's a camera capturing the moment; we only exist here and now.

We dance and dance and dance, and when I'm dancing, I'm free; they only win when I stop.

We need to be dancing.