Trigger Warning: brief mentions of SkinnyTok, thinness, assault, restricting food, dieting, body image, and referenced articles mention eating disorders
The standard of beauty is always changing. One minute, everyone wants to be thin, then they want a Brazilian butt lift. One minute it’s body positivity, the next it’s #SkinnyTok.
From childhood, women are constantly made aware of their physical appearance. We’re told what food to eat or avoid so we don’t gain weight. We’re told to be pretty but not provocative, so men don’t get the wrong idea. We’re singled out in grade school for outfits that might distract male students, and blamed as adults when a man doesn’t accept that no means no.
Women are told that our value is determined by our looks, influenced by what we eat or wear. In that way, diet culture and purity or modesty culture are actually two sides of the same coin: they are both ways society micromanages women’s physical appearance.
Diet culture and purity culture both connect adherence to societal rules with morality by categorizing food and clothing choices as good or bad.
In diet culture, morally “good” food will give you the body society says you should have, while morally “bad” food comes with guilt. If you had to choose between cake and salad, diet culture says choosing salad is right and choosing cake is wrong. It reinforces that your worth is dependent on restricting certain foods to earn a certain body type.
UK-based body image researcher Nadia Craddock defines diet culture as a “collective set of social expectations, telling us that there's one way to be and one way to look and one way to eat and that we are a better person, we're a more worthy person if our bodies are a certain way."
Purity or modesty culture is similar in that there’s a right way to dress and a wrong way to dress. It’s seen as morally right for women to cover up so they aren’t sexualized by men, and wrong to dress in a way that might be seen as sexual. It’s often connected to religious standards of morality. This article speaks to the effects of the Evangelical purity movement in the 1990s, where women seemed to be responsible for men’s self-control as well as their own.
Both diet and modesty culture claim that a woman’s physical appearance should be micro-managed. Diet culture asserts that women must have a certain body to be valued, and this can be achieved by controlling what we eat. Purity culture then says if you look too desirable and a man assaults you, then it’s your fault for wearing clothes that encouraged him.
Even if you achieve the “right” body, you'd better not show it off! Be sexy, but don’t wear anything that sends the wrong message to the men around you.
This centers on approval of society and male attention, which can also encourage comparison with other women. Women who fit into social norms may feel better about themselves, and women who don’t may feel like they aren’t valuable because they lack the approval other women seem to have. Comparison keeps all of us in the cycle of trying to be whatever version of womanhood society says we should be.
If that isn’t taxing enough, the standard of beauty changes all the time, especially with every social or political climate. It’s a pendulum that swings every which way, and women are constantly caught up in it.
Right now, as conservative ideals are promoted via politicians and even influencers, extreme dieting and purity culture are often disguised as normal health and moral advice, as a push back against the body positivity movement. In this conversation, New York Times writer Jessica Grose says it perfectly: “I think what happened with the body positivity movement is it got co-opted by the wellness movement, and so people stopped using language like, 'Oh, I’m doing this to be thin.” And instead changed their language to: “I’m doing this to be healthy.”
Recently, I saw an advertisement for a dietary supplement that said, “Salad has too many steps. Replace your salad.”
I’m not promoting this product or this company, but it’s a good example of how harmful dieting rhetoric is normalized and how used as a marketing tool, hidden under the guise of prioritizing health.
It’s similar to the way people are openly using and promoting weight loss drugs. The messaging isn’t just that skinny means healthy, it’s that perhaps food isn’t even necessary to achieve a healthy (a.k.a. thin) body.
No matter what’s happening in the world, society loves telling women how to look. Whether it’s through food or clothing, it’s always been about policing women’s appearance. But women should be able to exist in the world without our value being determined by how we’re perceived. We have value simply because we exist.
So how do we escape the claws of societal expectations?
Half the fight is simply recognizing where the traps are. It’s hard to fall for a lie that you know is a lie. Once you recognize the lies, replace them with truth.
Some truths to remember:
You don’t have to be ashamed of your body.
You don’t have to micromanage your appearance for the approval of others.
It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks about your body; it only matters what you think.
Your worth isn’t determined by what you eat, how you dress, or how others react to you.
Evaluate your own relationship with diet culture and purity culture, and think about why you feel guilt over a certain meal or shame about your body. This will take time, effort, and care, so remember to be patient and have grace for yourself as you navigate un-learning these harmful ideas.
Society will judge you no matter what you do, so in the wise words of my mom, just be you and be done with it!
Disclaimer: This is a culture and opinion essay and is in no way professional health advice. Please seek a licensed professional if you’re struggling with anything mentioned in this essay as it relates to dieting or eating disorders. Below are a few resources.
Resources:
Articles and Blogs I Referenced: