The Struggle of Moving on

All my life I have moved on, from house to house, city to city, even country to country. There is something about New York however that has a hold on me. How can I move on from a city where I feel I belong, become who I am, and make a community for myself? I think many seniors may have the same thought, and who aren’t sure where they’re going. Many will stay in the city but I’m sure others, just like me, are thinking of moving on not only to another city but also to another phase of life. How can we cope with creating a whole new life, the struggle of beginning again? I want to explain first why I love New York but also the reason I’m leaving and how to deal with the complex feelings of this choice.

New York is where I learned to become myself, my first adult home. When I packed the car for the first time to drive eight hours to my dorm I could never have imagined my life would end up here. I have learned more about myself than I ever could if I had stayed at home. Recently a freshman asked me if it gets better and I had to stop and think. My sophomore year was truly one of my worst but it led to so much growth. Junior year as well as senior year have been some of the best of my life. I have accomplished so many goals, made several groups of friends, and came out to truly exist as I wanted to in life. I have been lucky enough to study in Ireland, visit six other countries, see every borough, experience every season, and live three wonderful years in this city. This is what makes it hard to move on, I built a life here and now I’m actively choosing to leave.

Many people may wonder why I want to leave something that sounds so amazing. A large reason is sadly affordability, the city and grad school are expensive and NYC makes it hard to keep up. I also tend to move on to new places after large life events. I went to grade school in one school, middle school somewhere else, and high school in three different places. When I studied abroad in high school as soon as I got home I decided I needed to move far away for college. All of these places changed me, and I think moving from state to state created a lot of who I am. I am more confident and outgoing something I never was before I came to the city. I think because of this if I move to another new city I will continue to evolve into this newer more confident person.

Despite wanting to move on this is the hardest decision I think I’ve ever made. I have a lot of experience with this and can offer some tips to everyone who has complicated feelings about moving on. The hardest struggle I’ve had with all these transfers is making friends. While it took me many years to learn how to approach and interact with people when I moved I eventually gained the confidence needed to succeed. The biggest hurdle was simply talking to people, being the first one to put yourself out there is important. It led to me gaining a genuine friend group full of people I love and care about. The other issue was always adapting to where I am at the moment. I have become a person who loves seeing all the cool and exciting things a place has to offer and will make lists and itineraries of where to go and what to do. Becoming a planner is the best thing I could have done not only for the university but also for adapting and discovering the world around me.

I will always grieve leaving the city and the struggles I may face in a new place are daunting. The life I have now is sure to change and evolve and it is a struggle having to go along with it. Yet this struggle also brings the freedom of never being tied down, feeling free. I will always want to explore the path ahead of me to become who I was meant to be. This means grieving where I left off and struggling to move on, as well as joyfully choosing a new journey in life.

Written by Kat Reed

Thus Love: The Electrifying Post-Punk Band

Thus Love, a queer post-punk band from Brattleboro, Vermont, recently performed at the Knitting Factory (formerly known as The Pyramid) and shredded the stage where elite bands such as Nirvana, Richard Hell, Nico, The Red Hot Chili Peppers, and many more have performed. Thus Love is an incredibly talented band consisting of three multi-instrumentalists, Echo Marshall, Lu Racine, and Nathaniel van Osdol, whose goal for music is to create music that resonates with who they are, where they come from, and the community they have found in Vermont.

Before Thus Love stepped on stage, the room was full of electrifying energy after the two opening acts, Robber Robber and Flossing, set the mood for the night. They gave spectacular performances from their post-punk, grunge, and rock sound to having an eye-catching set-up with projection on the ceiling playing clips of eyes and scenes.

Thus Love’s set provided an exhilarating eleven-song set list, including three unreleased tracks. They started with an immediate bang, starting with one of their biggest songs at the moment, “In Tandem”. With every song the energy built up, and just exceeded all expectations as Echo added onto this energy by screaming, transitioning into the fourth song of the set,” House On A Hill.” This brought everyone to a new level as Nathaniel took over singing as Echo was playing into the audience. The audience was then rewarded as they performed a song called "Lost in Translation" (a song they wrote during the tour), making the night even more incredible as this tour is probably the only group of people who will hear this song for a while.

Towards the end of their set they brought to the stage a friend of theirs who played the saxophone, adding a new element to their beloved sound. They ended their set with my favorite song, "Put On Dog," where utter mayhem was unleashed on stage, from Nathaniel playing on the floor with one knee to Echo jumping onto the drums and kicking every part of the drum to the ground to Lu working with what was left of his drums, ultimately ending in Echo running into the crowd and falling to the floor without missing a beat.

Thus Love has an incredible image that perfectly meshes with their sound. They lead with love, charisma, and perform like no other band, with great stage banter that makes everyone feel welcomed and loved, creating a memorable night for everyone at the Knitting Factory

Photography by Nicole Miller

Ked: Bleeding Into the NYC Music Scene

Written and Interviewed by Ashley Lavalle

Photography by Sophia Keefe

Creative Director, Production Manager: Mark Bluemle

Production Assistant and Videography: Jake Pranian

Creative Assistance, “Bloodwork,” Styling by Sophia Querrazzi

Heart Button Up Designed by Catalina Torres

MUA by Kindra Kirsch

PA2, BTS: Jazzi Almestia

Prop Master: Lee Mazzio

An artist who experiments with his music and style, Ked is one to look out for. While his sound varies, it always manages to consistently rip one's heart out, leaving you lying on the floor as every single emotion bleeds out. His ability to write exceptionally true songs, not only to him but to his fanbase as well, is absolutely spectacular, causing the listener to only yearn for more. If you’re someone who loves music that is both genuine and fluid, I highly recommend you take a listen to Ked’s frighteningly remarkable discography.

We caught up with the artist about his recent EP, “i’ll still be missing you.” Keep reading to find out the mystery behind Merwin's sound.

Your EP “i’ll still be missing you” just recently came out and it features a song by the same title as well as four others that you had already previously released. What was your reason for combining them all into one EP?

I hadn't really planned to make an EP, but I think when you're in a place in your life where you're experiencing a lot of intense emotions, it's just hard to stop writing. I dropped most of the songs as singles first before realizing it would be easier to just release them as a collection, especially because they're all written about the same situation.

Is there a reason that these songs are in a specific order in the EP?

Hmm. Yes and no. I don't have any exact reason other than that's the order I felt they should be listened to. I think if you're listening to all of the songs at once, that's the order that makes the most sense to me.

Do you have a favorite song on the EP? And a favorite song in general that you’ve released?

The fans have really been liking "bullshit" so far, and I love that one a lot too, but my favorite is definitely "company". It's the first one I wrote and the lyrics just flowed right out of me since I was in such a fresh state of emotion. It was the most painful to write though, but I think that's what makes me like it so much. It's very honest.

When you listen to your EP, each song seems to seamlessly transition into the next, both storywise and musically-wise. What would you, personally, describe your sound as?

This is tough! I've struggled with finding a genre title that fits. I guess the closest thing I could say is somewhere along the lines of indie-pop with indie-rock elements popping up every so often. I even dipped into a bit of jazz with "low again". I just love experimenting with genre and sound, I don't ever want to get too locked into one thing. I like to keep it fresh.

The raw honesty and emotion are incredibly apparent in your songs, especially in ‘low again’. Being able to get to a place of such comfortability that you’re able to share this piece of yourself with others within your music is so admirable. Overall, it seems to be very personal. How do you foster all of your thoughts and creativity while simultaneously ensuring you’re not stepping over your boundaries?

Thank you, that's so nice to hear. I don't really have any boundaries when it comes to songwriting. I like to think of it as taking a photograph of what my brain sounded like in the moment I wrote the song. In "low again" I was so tired of feeling so bad about myself, but also wasn't ready to feel good yet, so I wanted to find a gray area of feeling really down but being okay with it and letting myself feel that way.

Do you have a particular process at all when it comes to songwriting?

It's definitely evolved over the years. Nowadays I tend to start with poems that I write or journal entries, because then I'm not so worried about rhyming and the technicality of it all, and I can just focus on what I'm feeling. Then I take the things that feel the most authentic and I tweak them to fit into a track I've produced or a chord progression I like. Every song is different though, and I'm sure I'll continue to experiment with the way I write

Are there any musicians or bands that have inspired you and how you create your music?

Absolutely. So so many. I love the beats that Vampire Weekend makes and I love Fiona Apple's lyricism. There are a billion more musicians I could name that I've taken inspiration from, but the list would be never-ending. I definitely took a lot of inspiration from Olivia Rodrigo specifically for these songs. When it comes to breakup songs, she's a beast.

Going off of that, what songs are currently on repeat for you?

I've been really vibing with O. Rod.'s "GUTS" ever since it came out, but who hasn't? Also, I really like Jack Antonoff's production style, so I've been listening to Taylor and Lana a lot just because he produces a lot of their stuff.

Not only are you a singer and songwriter, but you also play multiple instruments (the ones I’ve seen being guitar and piano). Do you have a favorite instrument and why?

Well, I grew up in a very musical household- my dad runs an orchestra and my sister just finished her master's in composition. I was forced to take piano lessons and music theory ever since I was able to walk, so keyboards of any kind have a special place in my heart. I only started teaching myself guitar during lockdown a few years ago, and it was so hard for me to learn. But like everyone, I had a lot of time on my hands in 2020, so I practiced obsessively. I remember having terrible blisters on all of my fingers for the first few months because I hadn't built up the calluses yet.

Before we end, I have to ask- is there anything you plan to release in the future? A new EP, new songs, etc., or are you just going with the flow?

Now that I'm back at school, I don't have quite as much time on my hands, but I always find moments here and there to work on something. I have a song called ‘as a feather’ that comes out October 10th, and it’s my favorite one I've ever made, so I’m really excited for people to hear it. There's other stuff I'm working on too, but I'll keep the rest under wraps for now.

To hear more from Ked, check out both his Spotify and social media links below!

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kedmerwin

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kedmerwin/

Written and Interviewed by Ashley Lavalle

Photography: Sophia Keefe

Creative Director, Production Manager: Mark Bluemle

Production Assistant, BTS, and Videography: Jake Pranian

Creative Assistance, “Bloodwork,” Styling: Sophia Querrazzi

Heart Button Up Designed by Catalina Torres

MUA by Kindra Kirsch

PA2, BTS: Jazzi Almestia

Prop Master: Lee Mazzio