How to have fun again

Call it what you want: analog, offline, indie summer. What we know is we're missing something.

These are tips on how you can start to regain your independence from the screens and get back into the real world. 

Use this as a starting base for a detox, intertwine it with a 75 soft (or hard) challenge, take some, leave some.

Just consider the ways you use the screen, and the way the screen uses you. 

Social media stays home (not on your mobile phone)

Connection has become too convenient; This doesn't include the fandom and worldwide connections made possible through social media; I mean the negative side of connection.

It's not supposed to be this easy to know everything about someone.

Sharing online used to feel more meaningful, but now it feels like a job, or sometimes it actually is one needed to survive. 

The social media market grows and changes exceedingly fast, and to keep up with it is running against a never-ending train; some make it on, others get crushed. At what point do we ask ourselves what we're really chasing?

Rethink how you go online.

Are you trying to "be an influencer," or does your authenticity and creativity help you build an online community, instead of just an audience?

Instagram, Twitter (X), TikTok, and all the other social media apps that keep changing in an attempt to keep us happy and entertained; miss the mark, and we can't help but stay. However, lately, being online has begun to lose meaning and value.

AI has made being on the apps annoying and weird. It's stolen pieces of the internet that made it entertaining. Bots have infiltrated so much that comments and posting risk reaching an audience that makes the trouble not worth it. 

When I think of how I want to spend my time online, I want to feel inspired and intrigued; I want to meet new people with the same interests and discover my own taste and preferences. Instead of spending hours on socials, get into new websites. rabbit hole on Wikipedia, discover new artists on NTS Radio, join scenes on Perfectly Imperfect. Discover new blog sites, independent magazines (wink wink), get back into gaming and forums, explore and have fun, and then log off.

Go outside. Reconnect, and decenter social media.

Replace getting social handles; instead, make a note page of tags/contacts/emails you meet out, connect with them online when you make it home, and eventually get used to asking "Can I have your number?" or " Can I have your email?"

Disconnect from the discourse and connect more purposefully by separating from socials.

Exist beyond the feed.

From "network" to community 

Connect and share with intention; it's more interesting, more meaningful, and takes away a lot of the stress of social media when you're not over-cultivating an aesthetic. Constantly having 24/7 access to each other, continuous updates, endless scrolling, and ads has tainted sharing online. It's competition, comparison, and evaluation. Add some separation. Go more analog 

No matter how high-tech things get, analog has a charm you can't replace. With the lack of new analog in exchange for new digital, the decline in useful, less expensive products in comparison to the mass production of digital makes this easier said than done.

There is a nice middle ground: phone as a tool, calculator, maps, etc, and separate it from the things that keep you overly attached to it. 

Look at your phone: what apps would you miss if it turned off? Get a music backup, thrift an old mp3 and fill it with the music you like, burn cd's/swap them with friends. Show off your playlist skills and make a mixtape.

Models: Sophia Deaver, Hillary Castillo Marte, Mickey Tegegne Photos By Toni Desiree

Get a puzzle book or a word search. Swap a notes app for an on-the-go journal; write your thoughts, your schedule, and contacts you meet. Ditch overpriced reading apps and get a library card, get a book for on the go, and a book for at home. Get magazines, read obnoxiously, get well-read and educated, and reject the rise of ignorance and inconsideration. 

I don't care if it looks performative. Before, people brought books with them on the go, packed notepads, and walked around with portable CD players all the time, before it was all optimized. 

I don't think you should be shamed for going back to wired headphones because people think it's a little corny. 

Go out of your way to experience a life detached from the feed. 

Boredom is just a sign. Follow the way and see where it leads. Talk to strangers, join community groups, go to places alone, and open your eyes to the world again.

Bring Back My Girls: RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars 11 Promo Looks Ranked by K. Pereira with Collin Killoran

The RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 11 promo just dropped this past Wednesday, and it’s already shaping up to be a sickening season. We’re excited to see Mystique Summers, an OG queen who has left a permanent impression on the franchise, return for their first time in years. Veteran queens like Silky Nutmeg Ganache, Morgan McMichaels, A’keria C. Davenport, and Kennedy Davenport are coming back to All Stars with a vengeance and an opportunity to finally receive a crown. However, they are up against some heavy hitters, All-Star first-timers like Morphine Love Dion, Crystal Methyd, and Sam Star. With all this anticipation, you definitely do not want to miss the season of All Stars, which premieres on May 8th.  

18. Silky Nutmeg Ganache: 

The Reverend Doctor herself is back to compete for the crown for the fourth time. This two-time finalist and lip-sync assassin has proved why she is a massive threat for the crown. The crowning jewel of her look is the way she accessorized it with brass knuckles that read “rubirth” and “crunch,” the former referencing her recent weight loss and the latter referencing her iconic catch phrase “munch munch crunch crunch.” Unfortunately, the simplicity of her pink bodysuit does not allow her look to stand out as much as the other queens, therefore earning her last place on our list. 

17. Mystique Summers:

Sixteen years after her first and only appearance on the show, Mystique Summers is back to snatch the crown. Mystique’s drag evolution is evident in her promo look, which showcases her elevated makeup skills and a wig that gradients from black to orange. However, the biggest gripe is the distraction caused by the strings going across her dress and the tie detailing, which is what caused her to place so low on our list.

16. Morgan McMichaels: With this being her third time competing on the show, will Morgan prove that the third time is the charm? This L.A. legend and recent Entertainer of the Year winner has proven that she is a major threat for the crown. The flame motif in her outfit was the perfect choice for the orange promo theme. We placed Morgan lower because the garment's material lacked a certain wow factor. 

15. Sam Star: With Sam returning so soon after her first season, in which she placed in the top four, we can only assume she is hungry for the crown. This drag daughter of All Stars 4 winner Trinity The Tuck always showcases the polish and glamour of pageant drag in her looks. The star motif throughout her outfit, a reference to her last name and her position as an all-star, was a standout factor of her look. However, the lack of purple in her dress is what kept her from placing higher on this list. 

14. Shuga Cain: After Shuga’s highly-disputed exit on Season 11, fans have been begging for her return, and that wish has finally been granted. Shuga’s dress design is simple, but her flair comes out with these dramatic ribbons that she has coming from her wrists and a fierce set of purple nails. 

13. Joey Jay: This fan-favorite, meme-queen is back, and this time she’s wearing wigs. Upon going home in the ball challenge, Joey has developed a reputation for subpar looks. However, this structured promo look demonstrates promise with these sickening details of the spikes and these heels that were made for stomping on necks. However, her wig clashes with the garment, which caused her to place lower on our list.

12. Crystal Methyd: Crystal’s conceptual clown perspective brought her all the way to the finale on Season 12. Now she’s back on All Stars, following in the footsteps of her drag sister Daya Betty, who was a finalist on the previous All Stars season. Her look is nothing short of pure camp, with a highlight of the garment being the star-covered fabric in reference to All-Stars. However, the unflattering shape of the outfit landed our season 12 queen in 12th place.

11. Jasmine Kennedie: Just outside of our top ten, we have Season 14’s Jasmine Kennedie. After coming out as a trans woman during the filming of her original season, Jasmine has blossomed into her true self, and now she’s back to compete for the crown. Her look is strong and sleek, with the highlights being the material, the cutout design, and the shoes. 

10. Hershii LiqCour Jete: The first queen in our top ten is Season 16’s first out, Hershii. Being the drag sister of the legendary Kornbread Jete, Hershii has big heels to fill and a shot at RUdemption. This chocolate bar diva came in hot with a fierce cape and bejeweled body suit that extended down her legs with a matching headpiece as a finishing touch. The outfit, being a leotard, pulled Hershii down from ranking any higher. 

9. Kennedy Davenport: The three-time finalist Kennedy Davenport is back on our screens for the fourth time and has proven time and time again that she is a major threat for the crown. The dancing diva of Texas is a drag legend and one of the biggest names on the cast. This promo look is incredibly opulent and reminiscent of Prince. It's fair to say this is her best promo look yet. 

8. April Carrion: During the Season 6 finale, April promised that she would be back for All Stars 2 to win the crown. Upon not being cast on All Stars 2, fans have been waiting for her return, and she’s finally back to compete for the crown. Her elevated mug and highly detailed bikini with multiple shades of pink stood out to us, earning her eighth on our list. 

7. Dawn: A fan favorite on Season 16, Dawn has been a highly anticipated queen to return to All Stars. With her promo look featuring a breast plate, her first time wearing one on the show, we can assume that Dawn has elevated her drag to the All Stars level, making her a top contender for the crown. Her high-concept tiger-print look, complete with elf ears and a tail, stood out to us, earning her seventh on our list. 

6. Morphine Love Dion: Deemed the Lipsync-Assassin of Season 16, Morphine has been a big name in drag since her season first aired. A consistent stand-out in Morphine’s looks is her makeup, which is always flawless. Fan her off because Morphine comes in hot, hot, hot, and ready with these flame details, with the shining piece being the flame mask. 

5. Vivacious: Twelve years after her first season aired, Drag Race legend Vivacious is finally back to compete for the crown. Vivacious is consistently referenced on the show for her iconic entrance look, and her promo look continues this trend as her headpiece is the elevated version of the headpiece she wore for said entrance look. Additionally, the pink trench coat is complete with a structural fanned back-piece. We appreciate her mix of drama and self-references, which earned her fifth on our list.

4. Aura Mayari: Known as “The Trade of the Season,” Aura consistently looks beautiful in and out of drag, and this look is no exception. She struts in with this warrior-inspired look, complete with a staff and crown, which stands out among the numerous gowns and bodysuits. The metallic gold and pink detailing is absolutely captivating. Her beautiful crescent moon headpiece is a great nod as she is the self-proclaimed “Filipina moon goddess.” 

3. Salina Estitties: On Season 15, Salina was known for her subpar looks and was even awarded the Golden Boot, an award for the worst look of the season. However, this promo look is an indication that she has stepped up her game. This gown, reminiscent of a quinceañera dress, stands out due to its ruffles and structural shoulders. The polish and elegance of this look has earned her third place on our list. 

2. A’Keria C Davenport: After two prior seasons, one of which she made top four, A’Keria has proven to be fierce competition for the crown. She absolutely stuns in this fabulous pageant gown, which she made herself. The drama and detailing of the look, accompanied by her always-perfect makeup and body, have earned her runner-up on our list. 

1. Lucky Starzzz: After Lucky Starzzz was eliminated first on Season 17, shocking the world, it’s no surprise that she was brought back to compete on All Stars so soon. Her high-concept, outside-the-box drag style is truly unique in the Drag Race world, making her one to watch out for. With her promo look, she took the orange theme and aimed for the stars and hit the sun. She earned the top spot because this conceptual and detailed look that reminds us of magma says everything about her and what she has to bring to the All Stars stage. Her makeup is the best out of all of the promo looks, and we just had to hand it to her, and it’s a big hand at that. 

All photos are sourced from World of Wonder and RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars Season 11. All credit and copyrights to World of Wonder Entertainment.

Article written and looks ranked by K. Pereira with Collin Killoran in association with 47Magazine.

Deeper than sex: we need to talk about intimacy.

When you hear the words intimacy and desire, what do you think of? In many cases, people tend to associate these words with sex: sexual desire, sexual intimacy. But what happens when we start to reshape the way we think about these words?

Dating and relationships are complex. There's a wide range of emotions and feelings that occur, and as we’re evolving in the realm of dating, we more often than not end up viewing certain aspects of romantic relationships through a sexual, or what I will call a pornographic, lens. Now, when I use the term pornographic, I’m not only referring to sex. Feminist and poet Audre Lorde talks about this idea of the pornographic in her essay “Uses of the erotic: The erotic as Power,” where she describes pornography as sensation without feeling, in contrast to her definition of the erotic, which also holds deeper meaning than just sexual pleasure. The erotic is described as a spiritual and political source of power and creativity that connects us to deeper meaning. Lorde speaks of this power of the erotic in terms of how women in particular can use it to reclaim power and challenge systems that oppress or view them through a pornographic lens.

 So with the erotic vs. the pornographic in mind, we can bring it back to the context of modern dating. I argue that modern dating culture often blurs the line between the pornographic and the erotic, prioritizing instant attraction over the slow intimacy through which many women actually experience desire. 

Modern dating culture tends to revolve around instant chemistry or physical attraction. There's a lot of emphasis on “the spark”, on knowing right away if something is there. But for many women, desire does not emerge from immediacy, and instead grows through intimacy, such as actively being listened to, feeling emotionally safe, or even recognition that a person actually sees you. Desire in this sense is something that develops over time. This becomes clear when I hear people talk about the “honeymoon phase” in relationships, which is described as a blissful, carefree period in the early stages of a couple’s relationship, and then as the relationship progresses and months turn into years, what once was an argument-free connection turns into arguments here and there. Oftentimes, it can feel like something's drastically changed in the relationship; there was an immense amount of “passion” and “spark” in the beginning, and now it seems it's gone, often causing burnout early on.

But most of the time, the reality is that there is no inherent problem. Even in platonic relationships, the honeymoon phase exists. Things feel new and exciting at first, and then they don't. However, that doesn’t mean the relationship has worsened or is doomed; it just means you’ve developed with this person to learn your differences as opposed to just your similarities. This is where the confusion between the pornographic and the erotic starts to matter more. The beginning of a relationship can sometimes align with what Lorde would call the pornographic, not because it's shallow but because it's based in immediacy and intensity. There is excitement in being wanted quickly, in feeling an instant connection, which isn’t a bad thing, but can often expose what we project onto other people. What we fantasize someone to be vs. who they actually are.

As things develop and that intensity starts to lessen, intimacy becomes less about constant excitement and more about consistency and actually knowing each other. That shift can feel like something is missing or wrong if we’ve been taught that desire is supposed to feel intense all the time, but what’s actually happening is that a different kind of desire is forming, one that’s closer to what Lorde describes as the erotic. The erotic is more about depth, and for many women, it is within the erotic that desire actually grows. The problem is that modern dating culture doesn't always make space for that kind of desire. With dating apps, social media, and even the way people talk about attraction, there's a lot of pressure to decide quickly. You’re supposed to know right away if you’re into someone, and if you don’t feel that immediate spark, you assume it's not worth pursuing.

This doesn’t mean hookup culture or casual sex are inherently shallow or wrong, as they can be really important spaces for exploration and autonomy; the issue is more about what tends to get emphasized. Both immediacy and slowness can be meaningful in different ways. When immediacy becomes the main way we measure attraction, though, other ways of experiencing desire start to get overlooked. Because of that, desire often gets misread or simplified to one thing. 

Thinking through Lorde’s idea of the erotic offers a different way of approaching modern dating culture. It makes room for desire to be multifaceted. This isn’t about rejecting sex, early attraction, or the excitement of something new, but rather an expansion on how we define intimacy and desire. When we reshape the way we think of these words, we realize that not everything meaningful has to start with a spark, and that desire can take different forms, some of which take time to unfold.